What Makes a Story Relatable?

As a writer, you have one mission. This shouldn't be to garner fame, success, or riches; rather it should be to relate to an audience. When you can check your pride at the door and come to the realization that writing isn’t about you, you might just be able to make it in the industry – win, lose, or draw.

First, let's get the red herring out of the way – money. Now, obviously, we all need money to live. After all, food, water, and shelter are necessary to survive. So why then am I saying that this isn’t your mission when writing? To answer that, we need to go on a small journey together.

Backstory

It has become painfully more obvious to me as I write that when I pursue the end goal of money, fame, and popularity the soul is sucked out of my work. This doesn’t always mean that my work is structured poorly or that it isn’t a fun read, but, rather, it lacks a personal touch and a deep connection to the reader’s innermost being. A great example of this would be during my time pursuing my Bachelor of Fine Arts at Full Sail University and the quick pacing of its courses. Working through an entire class from start to finish within one single month is nothing to scoff at. The blistering pace of a full four-year degree tackled in 29 months is something I wish I could have fully understood when I walked into my program in late 2022. These classes would often require an immense amount of research to earn yourself high marks, but as a full-time employee working in retail (God bless retail workers and their required flexibility) it wasn’t a marathon...it was a sprint-a-thon. This ultimately resulted in my work being perfectly by-the-books and solely designed to check off the core components of what makes a story. Generally, it went as follows:

The Three-Act Structure

The First Act (Setup): Set the stage and tone of the story by introducing the main character, relationships, the world they live in, and the initial conflict of the story.

The Second Act (Confrontation): This is generally the bulk of the story, acting as the turning point for the main character, which houses increasing levels of challenges and obstacles as they work towards their desired goal.

The Third Act (Resolution): This act brings the story to a close, and you tie up any loose ends and reveal the consequences and outcomes of the character’s actions.

Let me be clear, I love this outline and it is an amazing tool to keep you organized and focused, especially if you are as chaotic as I am. Additionally, my choice of overbooking my life is not the fault of Full Sail University nor their staff. It was quite the contrary; they made me a significantly better writer and led me to many of the conclusions I draw in this blog. I highly recommend pursuing a degree at Full Sail if you need some help getting your feet off the ground.

With that in mind, however, here is the crux: structure alone is not what makes a story relatable to an audience. If it helps put it into perspective, look at my pursuit of a passing grade above all else as a direct parallel to the pursuit of money, fame, and success. Sure, it may accomplish the goal, but it certainly is a far cry from connecting on a heart level with others.

Community

Think of the stories you love the most. Do you enjoy them because there is a perfect structure and by-the-books dialogue? Or is it because you see yourself (or at least a portion of yourself) in the story? Chances are it was the latter. Why is that? Well, as humans we long for connection and community, which generally results in us surrounding ourselves with like-minded individuals. This, in my opinion, is what truly begins the story's ability to resonate with its audience. When we are with those similar to us, we are comforted, supported, and encouraged to be our best selves. Stories are no different. Funnily enough, so long as you are in pursuit of greatness, you will surround yourself with those better than you in one way or another. This could manifest itself in someone wiser than you, stronger than you, funnier than you, or wealthier than you, just to give a few small examples. The beauty in this is that you will slowly glean from their knowledge and advice and become an even better version of yourself than you thought possible. I have many of these people in my life, one in particular who will remain nameless (though you know who you are) has always challenged me to see things from the perspective of others, and sometimes even empathize with their cause, even if I disagree with the manner in which they pursue the outcome of their desires. This, as painful as it may be to my pride, has allowed me to be a more kind and understanding person (though I will tell you now, there is a nearly insurmountable mountain as I walk that path, but enough about me...)  Whether you write for a specific audience, or that audience finds you, it is all the similarities you share therein that drive success. Find what cause, mission, event, or emotion you believe needs exploring and you might find that there is a near-infinite number of possibilities to connect with the proper audience.

Conflict

Additionally, life is a struggle. There are very few (if any) times in life when we as individuals get to experience our fairy tale ending. More often than not, we settle for something that is 90 percent there, because nothing is perfect, and deep down we know that. However, this is not a completely negative thing, for if there is no conflict, there truly is no story...or at least one without value. Just like the community, conflict drives us together in its bi-partisan punishment of all. Think of a time when you felt that someone was handed something that you had to struggle for: a job, a car, wealth, or the happiness of joining in marriage with another. When you feel that particular someone hasn’t struggled or faced the same level of conflict as you, it makes it hard to put yourself in their shoes, and thus harder to find camaraderie with. This doesn’t mean that we should make a habit of belittling the lives of others because they haven’t suffered enough in our eyes, but we can rightfully acknowledge that suffering gives us insight that mere words cannot convey. Conflict either drives people apart or together, and, with a shared foe, the bond forged through conflict is stronger than any opposition's ability to separate us. When this truth comes through – embraced – in a story, it makes that story relatable.

Human Flaws

Finally, and most importantly, we must recognize we as human beings are all flawed. When I read stories, the classic Superman trope of invincibility and perfect emotional stability just isn’t that appealing. A human flaw needs to be something believable in your story. You can play to the vice of drug or alcohol abuse (though this is becoming an easy-way-out crutch in many stories) or to something more internal, such as heightened emotions. A prime example of this is a character who feels vindictive such as Scar from “The Lion King” or Anakin Skywalker from the Star Wars franchise. Though such characters experience joy, love, and pride, they still desire (at the core of their being) vengeance, which is what ultimately leads them to the path they choose. We have all felt the need for vengeance at some point in our life and as such; we can more easily relate to these characters, and sometimes even empathize with their position in their universe. Obviously, a vindictive nature is not the only emotional flaw you can use, I find it most helpful to find an emotion and crank it to its most extreme. What result does that yield when played out within the story?

Put it into practice

Let’s do a thought experiment to put the pieces together. I love me some anime, so I’m going to use that as a foundation for creating a character. 

How about we focus on a character who is left with nothing at a young age? They have lost their family and have an unseen ability to change the world. As such, they feel isolated from the world but stumble upon a group of outcasts who welcome them into their group. Our character then is faced with the harsh reality of losing this new group of friends at the hands of his parent's murderers, which takes him into a blind rage. This pursuit of “justice” causes him to hurt those around him, in turn causing our protagonist to leave this group to pursue strength. While in meditation, they find that they have one of two options: blindly carry the burden of this cause on their own, or they can choose to lay their pride down and listen to the advice of their group and solve the issue together.

What emotions did you apply to this character? If you said “vindictive” you may well be envisioning Eren Yeager from Attack on Titan. If you apply ambition, Asta from Black Clover might be who you see. Similarly, if you use compassion, Tanjuro Kamado from Demon Slayer would fit the bill. All these fantastical stories are made more relatable to the audience by the careful crafting of these characters to reflect very human qualities cranked to the max.

Final words

 In conclusion, as we look at the thought experiment, we can see the foundations of a three-act structure which creates a solid story. However, when we apply community, conflict, and human flaws, we see the story come to life in a truly remarkable (and relatable!) way. Using this mindset, I have found that stories I have written can cause an individual to grow into something better, even in little ways, than they were before experiencing my work. This is the whole point of crafting a story, to take people into those spaces that they may not otherwise explore, confront...relate to in themselves. Though those rumblings may be small now, my prayer is that the ripples grow in such a way as to ultimately leave the world a better place through my writing, one explorer at a time. And that is what art is truly about.